Caught in a Love Triangle with Two Dead Sides
by bendywolf
Summary: Its been three years since the medicated PDS sufferers returned to Roarton. Simon and Kieren's relationship was tested and resulted in separation. However, there is another man on the block, Castiel, a man who remains a mystery to Simon yet intrigues him to no end. Will Simon be able to maintain a relationship with both men?
1. Chapter 1

SIMON'S POV

The first thing I heard was a thump behind me, followed by a male's voice with an unfamiliar American accent. A groan. "Somebody help." I jumped, spinning around to see a middle-aged man, presumably human, wearing a trench coat. His lower face was coated in brown stubble and his chocolate hair cropped short. The attractive gentleman was sprawled across the grassy earth, his small hands rubbed at his temples. I reached for the sacred hand to pull him up from the damp ground that was damp after the morning's slight rainshower. He thanked me, and I shrugged it off, eyeing him up. He was most definitely not a PDS sufferer. So what was he doing here with us, the PDS sufferers at work on the give-back scheme?

"I haven't seen you around here," I stated suspiciously. The man smiled, seeming to take pleasure in my thick Irish accent. I repeated the statement louder, and he replied,

"I'm Castiel," he introduced himself, and held out his hand again.

"Simon," I replied, taking his hand and momentarily feeling the many calluses, before he flinched and withdrew his hand. "You're a PDS."

"Well observed, Sherlock. Does that bother you?" I said accusingly. My voice remained calm as I couldn't afford another enemy. Not after my confrontation with Gary earlier.

"No. I've seen stranger things."

Just then, Kieren returned from giving a hand to some of the other workers. "Who are you talking to?" he asked. I gestured to Castiel, who looked strange amongst all of the pale faces.

"Who?" Kieren asked again, his eyebrows raising in concern. I pointed again to the man standing behind me. "This is Castiel."

Kieren furrowed his eyebrows. "There's nobody there, Simon. You aren't turning rabid on me, are you?" He said this in a joking manner, and I tried not to take offence.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. I turned to Castiel for an explanation, however he was staring at the ground, confusion etched upon his mature face.

"Castiel! What are you doing? I shouted, although I felt a tinge of regret looking at his innocent eyes, and with that, he vanished.

I spun around in bewilderment. The man had simply disappeared, there was no doubt about it. I could feel Kieren's pale white eyes boring into the back of my skull.

"Simon? You haven't gone and taken Blue Oblivion, have you? I know our breakup hurt you but I've apologised, there isn't much more I can do. I do care about you, Si," he said in a hushed tone.

"No, no, it's nothing like that, don't worry about it," I denied. "I.. I didn't get much sleep last night. I must have had a funny turn, I'm okay, really." I was trying to convince myself this as much as Kieren. We both stood motionless before he gave me a sad smile and turned back to his work. I entered a state of daydream. Kieren looked angelic, but there were moments when his angel was more fallen than flying.

As I attempted to draw my thoughts away from the wondrous man who was once mine, my limbs became heavy and soon all of my senses turned to blackness. I let out a half-conscious moan, reminiscent of waking up in my untreated state, before I passed out, where my fears soon drifted away.

-oo0oo-

_He was having one of those dreams. The dreams where he wasn't entirely sure whether it was a dream or not, whether I was awake or in a deep trance. It felt like he was awake, staring into the blue sky above him. But Simon's head was fuzzy as if he was mid-dream. And the words he was hearing sounded vague and dreamy, almost as if an angel was speaking them. Simon let out a long, moaning sigh and tried to stand up, then wavered and fell to his scarred knees. One limp hand braced the base of a thick oak tree for support, the other shot out limply to reach out for Cas, the mysterious man who seemed to understand him. They were in a field together, the filed where Simon had been working with the give-back scheme, but everyone else had disappeared. Simon didn't question this, however, only focusing in Castiel. The way Castiel's gaze comforted him like nobody else could, not even Kieren's. It captivated him, made him want to be around the otherworldly man for the rest of eternity. Despite the familiarity of Castiel, Simon had no recollection of him. Something at the back of his mind tugged, telling him that associating eith Cas was a bad idea, that deep down he was dangerous. Nevertheless, Simon was relieved to see him, not even an hour had passed since their meeting, and he waslonging to see those green eyes and chestnut hair once more. Simon wanted to lock eyes with him again and feel the shiver of excitement, yes Cas' eyes drifted and would not focus on him. _

_"We can be together, Simon" The words did not come from Castiel's mouth, but were still spoken in his sweet voice. They entered Simon's mind directly, not needing to travel through the thick air that arrived with dreams. He felt closer to him than they had ever been before, though they were physically a world away. "There are some conditions that we need to follow, but after that, we can be together again. We can love each other without anybody else to interfere. Simon, we can make this work." Cas' voice, along with the apparition, fluttered away. Leaving Simon in a misty haze, only to jolt away._

-oo0oo-

I awoke in a dark in a dark setting. My location was difficult to decipher due to the pure darkness, covering me like a sheet, both blinding and suffocating me. I stood up slowly, as not to trip over. My attentiveness returned to me partly and I became aware of a slight green light being filtered from above. I was in a forest. As I tried in vain to recollect any memories of reaching this place, I felt a pressure push against my leg - my mobile phone vibrating in my back pocket. I quickly pulled it out, and felt a tingling sensation as I saw that it was Kieren, and then felt bad seeing the many missed calls over the period of two hours. I pondered over if I should answer it or not, to be truthful, I was scared. Scared of all the different possibilities. Would he be mad at me? How could I explain all of the strange happenings? But most of all, I was scared of him deeming me as untrustworthy. Kieren had problems, too, but how could he confess them to me, how could I console him, when I, myself, was turning into a monster?

"Simon, where are you? Si! Are you okay? What's going on?" Kieren's voice sounded more than worried. I hadn't realised I accepted the call for all of the thoughts running through my mind.

"Kieren, I.. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here! Kieren, help me!" I grew hysterical. "Kieren, I think I'm going mad, I don't remember how I ended up here." I didn't realise I was crying until I was full-on sobbing down the phone to him. I felt pathetic.

"Stay where you are! Don't move, I'm coming to get you." From the other end, I heard only the soothing sound of Kieren's breathing, and I knew he was going to save me.


	2. Chapter 2

KIEREN'S POV

I immediately opened the tracking app on my smartphone. Already having Simon's phone number saved within the application, there was no delay in revealing his whereabouts to me. My worries about the troubled man doubled when I saw he was in what was almost the direct centre of a forest close to my house. It would only take me five minutes to get there if I ran. I wasted no time in pulling on some shoes and racing out of the door, not slowing down until I reached the outskirts of the overgrowth. I dialled Simon's number again as I entered the woodland, impatiently waiting for him to answer the call. Just when I began to doubt he would pick up the phone, his sharp breaths became heard.

"Simon, I'm here," I told the scared man frantically. "Where are you?"

"I don't know, Kieren, please help, I'm sorry-" His broad Irish accent came to a halt, and my first instinct was to scream and let everything out. but Simon was more important, especially now his mind was playing tricks on him. recently he had been becoming more secretive, keeping diaries and sleeping in until five in the evening. I wanted to help, I needed to. The location of the app blinked and disappeared. Up above, the clouds separated and the iridescent moon shone brighter than I ever thought was possible, creating a trail towards my ex-lover. I ran, breaking free of the bramble branches that protruded, making my path difficult to get through. When finally, I'd set eyes upon Simon, slumped against a group of trees, tears rolling out of those white, cat-like eyes.

I shouldn't have done it, I knew I shouldn't do it, though it was impossible to refrain from putting my arms around Simon, who shuddered and leaned into my touch. I led the inattentive Simon to the bungalow, constantly encouraging him to continue going. His jet black hair was matted, a few strands fell on to his face. I lightly brushed them away and carried on half-dragging him to the safe haven of his home.

When we returned to the house, I unbuttoned my fur-lined coat and draped it over Simon's pale form. I was scared. Whatever happened to the old Simon, the one who wasn't so distant, wasn't so cold, who wanted to be around me. I didn't know now, but I was determined to find out, and determined to bring him back.

I was reluctant to to undress Simon and put his pyjamas on, so I removed his outer layers, leaving him in a loose t-shirt and jeans. I tucked him into bed and was thankful that he had fallen asleep. It brought me ease to see him looking so peaceful, but I was still afraid to leave him, so I made the decision to stay the night here, settling into the spare room.

I eventually drifted off into a fitful but dreamless sleep, only to wake up hours later, sweaty and uncomfortable. I wretchedly hugged the pillow that carried the scent of his hair, and sank into the bed he had so often slept in. I thought about all of the things I missed, the old Simon especially. As I was thinking about him, I almost fell back into another bout of sleep, but a loud cry jolted me awake. I leapt out of bed and rushed through to Simon's bedroom. His skin glowed as he convulsed into fits of spasms, his body creating shapes that remained unknown to me.

I hurried to his bedside, guiding him to wakefulness by calling his name and shaking him gently. His eyes soon opened and he lay still, sucking in breath like he had been without it for hours. I stroked his hair, soothing him. "Nightmare?" I asked. He answered with a simple nod. Tears stained his sallow cheeks and his eerie eyes were still wide.

"Will you stay with me?" he whispered, afraid. I moved to the other side of his bed and slid in next to him. He sat up alongside me, and lay his head on my shoulder, a natural cue for me to wrap my arm protectively around him. His breathing gradually calmed until it was steady, and I knew he had once again fallen asleep.

I laid still, deathly afraid of waking him and removing him from the blissful state of sleep he was in. Memories flooded back to me, moments similar to the one I was currently going through. I missed Simon, my Simon, but things were complicated and that Simon existed no longer. I desperately wished our relationship hadn't ended like it did.

-oo0oo-

_I sat in Simon's bungalow, having let myself in over an hour ago with the spare key he had given me. He had told me to come at 6. It was now 7:20. My many attempts at contacting him had failed, so all I could do was wait. Anger and heartbreak burned in my heart, the only things keeping me in the bungalow's living room. The light shining through the window was dwindling as night drew closer. With my head in my hands, the thought that ran through my mind was "I'm going to be here all night." I heard the front door close with a bang and the familiar sound of my boyfriend's footsteps approached the room._

_"An hour and a half ago, Simon," I said simply._

_"Oh... Oh, Kieren, I'm so sorry. I... I forgot you were coming." His gaze didn't meet mine, but wandered around the room._

_"Ah, so that's tonight's excuse, is it?"_

_"Kieren, I don't understand why you're upset. I'm here now, aren't I?"_

_"I'm sick of this, Simon! Where have you been?"_

_"Nowhere."_

_"No, Simon. Tell me where you've been going or it's over. I've had enough of this."_

_"Why does it matter?"_

_I didn't respond, just stormed out of the room, leaving a distraught Simon in my wake._

-oo0oo-

I couldn't count the amount of times I'd wished things had been different. If only Simon had never been so distant, so secretive about everything, then maybe everything would be okay. But he broke. His heart became cold and he never seemed interested in me, or my feelings. I'd spent lonely nights down in the cave with a long white candle to comfort me. Simon changed. Something deep down changed as quick as a flick of a light switch. One moment his lips were on mine, his freezing hands grasping at my clothes, then the next, he stopped. He stood up and turned away, with a look of panic upon his beautiful, beautiful face. A lot of those times I missed Rick. And when I was sitting in that freezing cave, thinking about my ex-boyfriend whilst my current boyfriend was out there somewhere alone, it made me feel like the whole world was on top of me. And that was why I broke up with Simon.


	3. Chapter 3

_Castiel watched meticulously from above. Simon had been on the edge of sleep for hours, or that's what it felt like. Down below, Simon paced around Amy Dyer's old bedroom, the strange recent events occupied his throbbing mind. The room was unlit and Simon wore a plain white, button up shirt. This would have looked smart and elegan, although it hung askew on his body and was embedded with days old sweat. All that rang through his mind was 'Castiel.. Cas.. Castiel.. Cas..'. It was killing him. Castiel was like a nasty, painful injection that wouldn't go away, it plagued him and prevented him from well-needed sleep. Simon felt as though he could sleep for a thousand years, but his mind was buzzing and was far from letting up. He hated not being able to see him in the flesh, so he climbed under Amy's blankets and began the waiting game._

-oo0oo-

CASTIEL'S POV

I missed that sharp face, those piercing eyes and his menacing yet frightened stare. Watching him I realised how out of control my love for him had grown - or maybe I should call it an obsession. It had started out as an innocent romance, butI kept delving, deeper and deeper - and now look at the consequences.

I observed his shuffled walk and curious face, always wishing I could listen in on the thoughts that flooded his mind. I watched as he clambered into bed and huddled under many layers of blankets. My heart rate increased as his eyes fluttered shut and he finally drew closer to sleep, closer to the dream I would invade and visit him in.

Eventually, his chest's rise and fall slowed and became steady, his pale eyelids remained closed. He looked peaceful and I hoped with all my heart that nothing would come to disturb him.

I cautiously approached Simon in the world of dreams. He sat on a park bench, staring up at the sky. As I came closer, I expected him to look up, however he hadn't seemed to have noticed me.

"We meet again," I said, careful not to sound desperate. I smiled when he didn't reply, enjoying the relaxed state he was in, watching the fluffy clouds pass by on a vibrant blue background. Still, Simon did not respond. Was he purposely ignoring me? Moments passed. I stood still, listening to his even breathing, waiting for him to pay me the attention I had been so deeply craving. Eventually, Simon's dark eyes met mine and an unreadable look appeared on his face, perhaps one of joy, perhaps one of relief. It was hard to tell with this cryptic man. He had a strange intensity about him- something thathad always been there but coming back from the dead had ramped it up even more. I felt dizzy- so much was happening, all too fast to take in. Our previous meeting had been brief, only minutes long, and I hadn't even had time to think of him as a living, breathing human. He had always been my angel, and by the time I'd found out who he really was, he had risen. He had returned to Earth as one of the living.

No words were spoken. He only stood up and engulfed me in an almost suffocating hug. At first the sensation overwhelmed me, but once I took in his familiar warm, strong scent, I was almost brought to tears by adoration - or maybe it was just the tightness of Simon's hold - and I wrapped my arms around him in return. All that could be heard was the soothing sound of our inhaling and exhaling, mingled together without the need of words to interrupt it. It would almost seem cruel to disrupt this beautiful serenity. I forced my breathing to quiet, focusing only on Simon. His presence was like a healing elixir, being with my beautiful Simon, it healed my wounds and put my troubled mind at bay. My apprehension about Kieren evaporated. We stayed like this, still as statue, for what was a long time, however it still wasn't enough. Being in two different worlds. had separated us in ways that brought shades of suffering into my life that I couldn't comprehend.

The embrace ended and we were left facing each other, Simon's brilliant white eyes full of sadness. Suddenly, the world seemed to shift. It was like an obvious answer in a spot-the-difference puzzle, although one that you just couldn't put your finger on. We gazed up to see the change; the moon's reflection on the dark, glassy surface of a wide lake.

"I've missed you," Simon confessed, interrupting my thoughts. "Why didn't you come and visit me?" The sad, accusing tone in his voice brought me crippling guilt. I tore my eyes away from his, staring at the ground.

"I... I don't know Simon. I'm sorry." My voice grew hoarse. "I just thought that... if we were together so often, it would hurt more to be taken away from you."

"You... You can only visit me in my dreams." I could tell that this wasn't a guess. He had been pondering over this. I confirmed his thoughts. We regained eye contact, and such a simple thing felt so intimate, so powerful, so dangerous.

I was yearning for his contact, and he must have read my thoughts because he reached out with his ice cold hand and caressed my cheek, which was at boiling point in contrast.

Simon smiled in an ironic way that reminded me of the times that we had spent together, that smile was one of the things that had drawn me closer to him each second. His lips curled up in a way that made me shiver. Around us, a huge ball of white mist floated, then dispersed, covering the meaningless surroundings. It made Simon and I the only two things that could be seen, the only things that mattered. The mist moved slowly over the surface of the tarmac, like a ghost hovering over the land. A small gust of wind made Simon's charcoal black hair dance.

I was thirsty, lusting after his cold lips on mine, because he was mine. Kieren abandoned him long ago, hurting him emotionally and leaving him feeling neglected. I wanted to feel him, my left hand in his hair, and my right on the small of his back, painstakingly dodging his huge scar that tormented him every day. A reminder of his past.

Our lips met tentatively, and already I need more. Although Simon stepped back, and then to some surprise, his lips trailed along my stubbly jawline. Something had possessed him, he became wilder with every touch. I moaned into him, as his breath fluttered around my face. Simon's colourless hands were brought up to my cheeks and he slowly grazed my red-hot skin.

"I love y-," he began to whisper. But before he could end his sentence, Simon flittered away. After all, it was just a dream.

Cas watched him disappear, thinking the word _stay. _It didn't escape his lips.


	4. Chapter 4

SIMON'S POV

I leapt from my bed with alarming suddenness. It took all of my strength to clench onto the memory of Cas' skin grazing against mine. I was terrified that the images of him that were contained in my mind would vanish, for that was all I had of him - memories. It wasn't so much the kiss that I remembered; it was the way he had let his mouth linger on mine, the way his breath had caressed my cheek.

I staggered out of my bedroom, and out of the bungalow, into the winter air. I was lost without Castiel. I brought my hands to my head, tugging on my hair out of sheer madness. I fought the urge to scream out in anguish, and channelled my distress by running. With no destination in mind, and no shoes to cover my bare feet, I tore through the night. Each breath ripped apart my lungs and my knees were aching, yet I still sprinted through the dark, never intending to end, fuelled only by the thought of Cas.

The streets through which I ran grew narrower, darker. The clouds overhead had completely blocked out the pale glow of the moon, but tall and ugly street lamps burned here and there, throwing out a feeble, orange gleam.

I was unsure of how long I ran for. All I knew was that there was blood coating the soles of my uncovered feet and that every inch of me burned with agony. I had sobered up from my sleep-induced dreamlike state, and was now on an empty street with the moon as my only companion. I walked, watching my reflection expand and contract.

I sank down, perching on a damp, mossy wall with my head in my hands, when a revelation hit me like a ton of bricks - if I wanted to meet with Cas, all I had to do was sleep.

-oo0oo-

_The blush of dawn was already on the horizon, brining an eerie blue glow to the world of the dead. Castiel awoke with a jolt from Simon's dream. He groaned, melancholy filling him from head to toe, incited by losing Simon yet again, and getting to spend so little time with him this visit. Thoughts ran through his head at seventy miles per hour, thoughts about Simon, and about his plan to bring Simon to him. Little did he know, his thoughts were being intercepted, listened in on by none other than Amy Dyer._

_From another room, the young girl good-naturedly listened to Castiel's thoughts. She had recently been playing around with all of the interesting things the dead could get up to. She felt a small tingle of satisfaction at successfully eavesdropping on the angel's thoughts. She had found that with reading somebody's thoughts, entering their minds, came along a taste in your mouth, each flavour distinctive to the person. For example, she now tasted a bitter metal taste, indicating that the heavenly being was experiencing some particularly low-spirited emotions. _

_Still overhearing Castiel's thoughts, she realised what had just been thought by the gloomy man. Amy became aware that her pale white fists were clenched tight, and her heart was beating faster than she'd ever felt it before. She forced herself to relax. Surely Castiel couldn't have been thinking about _her _Simon Monroe, and _her _Kieren Walker... but how many people sharing the same names could be under the same circumstances? Amy focused, demanding her dead body to calm again. Surely this man wouldn't consider doing something so dangerous and so evil. Using her mind, she willed herself to concentrate on his location, therefore she could confront him. What was this angel turning into? And would Simon go along with this plan, knowing it would break Amy's heart?_

-oo0oo-

SIMON'S POV

I walked over to Kieren, deeper into the cave. He lurched suddenly, leaving his daydream. His eyes looked blank and confused, before he blinked and I saw his pupils shrink down to their regular size. "Simon!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came for some quiet... Though I could ask you the same thing."

There was a pause. "I just needed to get away from things, you know?" I nodded. I sat down next to him, and realized how close to him I had placed myself - our shoulders were brushing - but I found that I didn't mind, and wished I could simply lean onto his shoulder and reveal everything to him, about how I missed him, and about Castiel.

Kieren looked straight in my eyes. Everything I was feeling must have shown on my face. I heard him take a sharp intake of breath, and he started to rub my back gently: an absent, comforting gesture. Instead of shrugging away from his touch uncomfortably like I expected I would in a situation like this, I found myself leaning into his touch.

His touch on my back seemed to radiate warmth, a sensation I had missed. A shiver went through me, but I did not feel the cold, it was something other than the cold that shook me.

"I've missed you," admitted Kieren in a whisper, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us.

Recognition of what was happening shot through me like a bolt of lightning. I straightened up with a jerk, forcing myself out of his arms and onto my feet. I couldn't do this with Kieren, not now that I was with Castiel. I turned around in a tight circle, pacing backwards and forwards like an animal in a cage. Kieren sighed and I felt some guilt. I had sat here, comforting my ex-boyfriend, when Cas was all I wanted. along came Cas, and everything changed.

"I'm sorry, Simon," he said quietly.

"No, Kieren, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have overreacted, it's just that... things are different now," I said, not being able to bear looking down at his beautiful face, which I know would be holding a devastated frown. All that was left in the cave was silence, hanging over us like a boulder threatening to fall and crush us both. The breathing seemed to cease. A long pause. A gasp, like we couldn't hold our breaths any more, and the return of the raspy sounds.

I couldn't speak, my heart jumped and jittered in my chest, and each deafening beat thumped louder and louder, and rang through my ears.

I turned towards the cave opening. The small hints of daybreak were beginning to show. The sky was deep blue, the dark shapes of storm clouds moving over the shadows of the trees. So much time had passed whilst we had been sitting in the cave together, yet it had only felt like minutes.

"I'm sorry, Simon," I heard from behind me, breaking my thoughts. I barely had time to blink, and before I knew it, Kieren had bolted, running from the cave, and running from me.


End file.
